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Yes - I do buy myself Christmas presents

  • suerabycounsellor
  • Dec 3, 2024
  • 2 min read

Updated: Dec 4, 2024

Did you notice it? The heading that said "ME". Yes it mean ME, myself, or I. I buy myself Christmas presents and I love wrapping them, I love labelling them and I love opening them on Christmas morning.


My family tradition is to do Christmas stockings. Small inexpensive items that are fun to open. So when, years ago, money was really tight, when I was a single mum, with a part time job, feeling a failure, I was wrapping these little stocking items. The bone depth tiredness and the late night loneliness overwhelmed me. I sobbed. I had enough presence of mind to avoid dripping the tears onto the red Santa wrapping paper, and kept the sticky tape out of harm's way, but still the tissue box became depleted and the tears ran free.


The particular trigger was was the reality that there was no "partner" to provide me with presents or a stocking from the children. Don't get me wrong - I was content for there not to be. But the simple thought " I don't have a stocking" just hit me and hurt. I wiped up the drips, threw my shoulders up and I decided that if I wanted a stocking - then I needed to organise myself one.


I picked out of the Christmas box the spare felt stocking with a carrot shaped nose and chocolate smudge over the eyebrow and, over the next few days, gave myself permission to buy inexpensive indulgences AND necessities. I wrapped them up, stuffing them into Mrs Carrot Stocking and on that special Christmas day, opened my stocking whilst the girls opened theirs. I thoroughly enjoyed the anticipation, the reveal, and the present itself.


Since then I have always been on my Christmas shopping list. This year I have a handbag from Leprosy Mission, locally hand made Christmas cake and two books. I'll probably invest in some chocolate brazil nuts and cookie dough ice cream. I am lucky - these presents are new this year - presents haven't always been.


Remembering myself at Christmas, shopping for ME, is one of my self care habits. Try it - you might even enjoy it.





 
 
 

You're doing a fab Christmas job - because Simple is just complicated in disguise

  • suerabycounsellor
  • Nov 29, 2024
  • 1 min read

Updated: Dec 1, 2024


The blind came off in August and I have only just managed to put it back ( it is December). As I reproached myself on putting off a simple job, I suddenly realised that getting the job done had not been simple.


The job needed step ladders. These steps were easy to get out of the tidied brick outhouse in my back garden.


The out house was tidied because the shed had been recently emptied and resulted in rearranging the rubbish thrown about in the out house.


The shed had been emptied because the recent storm blew the shed roof felt off the shed.

Because of all these stages, the job “appeared to be” simple – and the reality was the opposite.



Putting the blind up took a storm, two tidy ups and a moment that was free of other thoughts. Sometimes a simple job is not simple.




Christmas season is not a simple job. It is overwhelming - I haven’t found anyone yet who doesn’t find it stressful. Give yourself a break - simple is often complicated in disguise.

You’re doing well.



 
 
 

If you don't know where you're going, you'll end up somewhere else.

  • suerabycounsellor
  • Nov 29, 2024
  • 2 min read

The awful thing about cliches is that they are born from reality. We use them, abuse them and ignore them but they are life truisms. Setting off for Christmas shopping without knowing how much money we have, without a budget, we either underspend and miss out on well deserved treats. Or we scarily overspend. Ask yourself, is that special gift the kids say they HAVE to have worth the months of your short temper whilst you worry about making each month's payment?


According to ITVX in 2023 the average spend in 2023 was around £2000, and around 4 million people will borrow to put a Christmas meal on the table. That's overwhelming pressure.


But imagine the relief of getting to Jan 2nd knowing there are NO debts to worry about, and knowing that you did your best with the money you have available.




For some, that spoils the fun of Christmas, and that's okay. If there are no January regrets, no concerns about who was offended, and no worries about the money owed to the credit cards, ignore this.



There is a present list for you to down load - yes it's boring- yes it's not impulsive - yes it's another job - BUT it is part of building your spending muscle. Instead of buying two books for Uncle Fred, and forgetting cousin Chris; instead of that wonderful Christmas tradition of " present shuffle to the tune of Jingle Bells" ( you've not done the "present shuffle"?- you're far more organised than me then) you'll know exactly what you have bought and for whom.


The present list will control spending and cut the work load down. I have any of you wrapped the present, and then had to open it to work out what I bought and for whom? Waste of my time, money, wrapping paper and patience.




The present list will put YOU in control of Christmas - not Christmas controlling you.


 
 
 
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