The 12 don'ts of Christmas 1-6

One partridge a pear tree

You don’t have to be alone, even if you feel lonely. If you want company you can go where there's people but no conversation required. Library ( free), church ( free) or any place of worship, coffee shop or volunteer somewhere - workers are very appreciated at the moment.

Two turtle doves

You don't have to be with the "one" to be lovable or to love. Find the love feeling - contact the favourite family member ( go on, admit it, there is one) , borrow a friends dog/cat/pet mouse or spend time with your own, a trusted friend. We can feel love in all these places.

Three french hens

NO you don't have to watch Les Miserables or The Wizard of Oz again! Find a French and Saunders programme to watch - or The Vicar of Dibley rerun.

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Four calling birds

You don't have to write Christmas cards or call relatives. If the relationship faulters over a missed card or a belated call, it was on the rocks anyway.

Five gold rings

You don’t have to buy expensive presents nor spend lots of money. If you've been budgeting along with me you will know your limits, and that will gives you strength to your "No more", knowing that you did your utmost. I had no money spare - I would make small Christmas gifts - a bag of punch spices, or crackers filled with colouring sheets and crayons from a kit ( one set split into 4 presents). Recycle unopened gifts ( we all have them!)- My great grandmother used to say " a gift twice given is a gift twice blessed".

6 geese a-laying

You don't have to do everything, nor do it from scratch. Buy the mince pies, use present bags you were given last year instead of wrapping, give gift cards this year. When money was short, I used to love receiving a gift card because it was four gifts wrapped in one. Firstly the gift of the card itself, then the luxury of being able to go shopping. Add the luxury of being able to buy something for myself, then the actual item itself. Yummy.